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You have to admit that once you see that the person you love is in pain, you feel guilty as if you’re the one to blame even if you’re not…
Without anyone as company, Ella became painfully aware of her surroundings. The graceful pianist at the platform in the corner of the room and how the slow tempo of the melody seemed to caress her scarred heart; the soft chatters of businessmen and gentle clatters of their utensils; the majestic hue of light offered by the chandeliers and how it seemed to illuminate and emphasize the vacancy of the chair opposite hers. Her heart ached and she gulped several times to ease the lump forming on her throat.
Chun left her and she didn’t have the right to protest. She didn’t have the right to ask anything about his personal life. She was just a mere employee. He expected her to treat him as her Boss. He wanted her to act ignorant of his sorrow and just concentrate on her job. The silent rejection was totally inexplicable. She needed a breath of fresh air to calm her senses.
She exited the exclusive elegant restaurant and dawdled in the hallway to wherever her feet could bring her. The hotel was big but she didn’t have the will to explore its majestic architecture and fabulous furniture. She headed to the elevator and immediately decided to go directly to the ground floor.
Her reflection in the metal walls of the elevator was anything but appealing. She looked ragged and worn out as if all her energy had been chased out of her. Her eyes were drooping and lacked the joy inherent to them. Her lips were trembling due to the words they imprison.
She stared at her reflection and couldn’t help but wonder what had become of her.
She was once a girl whose smile on her lips was almost permanent. Where was that smile now? The reflection in the mirror was what heartbreak could do. Her eyes misted. She couldn’t help but accept the fact of how pathetic she’d become. She was chasing after a man who was in love with another woman. She was in love with a man who preferred to be hurt by that woman than to look at her with suitor’s eyes. She was in love with a man who was incapable of loving her. She was in love with a man who did not even give her a chance to show him how much she loved him.
Her knees trembled and she leaned in the walls for support. She was nothing to him but a mere employee.
The thought brought tears to her eyes. She dashed out as long as the elevator opened. She chose to love him in silence for in silence she found no rejection. But with silence came the incapacity to execute her genuine love for him. It was terrible. It was like being a prisoner in her own body. She wanted to do something but would always act otherwise. She’d endured it all.
But now, she didn’t know if she could still endure for more.
“Ella!” a high-pitched voice called out. Ella instinctively choked a sob and blinked her tears away, hoping not to leave as much of a trace of her torment. She spun around and saw the smiling face of her delightful friend. She breathed deeply and quickly masked her dejected expression with something she hoped as a happy smile, “Selina, what are you doing here?”
A woman with long black hair framing her bright face hugged Ella with candid enthusiasm. Ella took delight in her friend’s embrace. It had been a long time since they saw each other.
Ella pulled back first and looked at her friend’s face. “What are you doing here? Where’s Jiro?” she asked. She walked over to sit at the couch in the lounge of the hotel. Selina smoothed the pleats of her skirt before sitting down next to Ella. Selina didn’t change one bit. Her fashion sense was still as girly as before.
“Oh that stupid guy. He went back to the suite because he left his car keys. I don’t want to go back so I told him I’ll just wait for him here. These heels are killing me,” she said grudgingly, pointing to her silver stiletto heels.
Ella chuckled in amusement, though her smile didn’t reach her eyes. “Then why did you wear it?” she couldn’t help but ask, though she already knew the answer.
Selina gave her a mischievous smile, “Because it’s gorgeous! You know how I always do these small sacrifices for fashion.”
“Yeah I know. I just miss that line,” Ella said thoughtfully.
A frown crossed Selina’s forehead, “Is everything okay? You look… well,” she hesitated, “you don’t look that good.”
Ella tried her best to smile and inject enthusiasm in her voice, “Nah. I’m fine. Just a little stressed from work and all but I’m getting the hang of it. So tell me about you and Jiro. Do I hear wedding bells soon?”
Selina gave her an intuitive gaze as she was not convinced by Ella’s reasons. Nonetheless, she answered, “No plans about it yet. The guy doesn’t have the nerve to propose. We just visited my aunt at P’ingtung and decided to come over to Kaohsiung altogether for a vacation.”
“Good for you. You have such a loose schedule. Aaron’s that kind?” Ella teased as she leaned back to the couch.
Selina flipped her long hair playfully, “Well, his conscientious being forbids him to be tight with his gorgeous Secretary.”
“Jiro’s gonna be jealous,” Ella gave a short laugh.
Selina laughed along with her. The unrestrained flow of happiness in her voice made Ella feel a strayed tinge of kind envy. “I wished he would but his trust was remarkable. I love him for that. Anyway, speaking of marriage…” she pulled out a light blue envelope from her bag and handed it to Ella.
Ella reached out to take the envelope, her brows knotted in confusion, “What’s this?”
Selina rolled her eyes, “An envelope! Ella, you haven’t changed one bit – still asking the obvious. Just do me a favor and grace us with your presence. Aaron would be very happy if you’d come.”
Ella’s eyes trailed to her friend and back to the silver inscriptions in the envelope. “Oh. So Aaron’s getting married,” she muttered.
“Obviously, yes. And I require you to come, okay? I’m the one in-charge of the visitors. It’s on Sunday, by the way. You still have three days,” Selina said while staring at her wristwatch.
“Okay. I’ll come,” Ella agreed. A change in atmosphere might be good for her. At least watching a real wedding could remind her that happily-ever-after was still in existence.
“Good! Now, I hate to cut our conversation but I need to go back to the suite. Jiro forgot the key to our room as well,” Selina ranted with equal fraction of amusement and irritation.
Ella could only smile in amusement to her friend. Jiro and Selina were a nice couple. She missed spending time with her friend. She watched as Selina headed to the elevator, struggling to keep her poise with her four-inch-heeled stilettos.
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