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It’s up to you where to stay but before you abandon me, at least tell me why because if there’s a thing that’s worse than being abandoned, it’s the pain that comes with the knowledge that I’m not even worth of an explanation…
He felt like he was sinking in a quicksand of despair. No one could understand him. No one was there to show him support. No one cared if his heart was bleeding as long as he could handle the company well.
He was only human. Weakness was something humans like him were vulnerable to. Heartbreak was something humans like him were bound to experience. Love was something humans like him cannot escape from.
If you were someone who hadn’t experienced any of these, then you were not human. You were a businessman. Someone who gave more damn about business and the materiality of things than to spare five seconds of their life telling someone in distress that everything would get better.
His eyes caught the questioning gaze of his father. Harold Wu’s piercing gaze stabbed at his heart. Never in his life had this man who claimed himself as his father treated him as a human being. He didn’t care about his emotions at all. He pampered him with education, etiquette and moral but those weren’t because he was his only son. Those were for the lone purpose of producing a well-refined and perfectly honed heir to his business empire.
He wasn’t a person for his father. He was a labeled possession; a commodity.
Everyone’s attentions were caught by the light screech of the door. The door opened and a petite lady with short black hair, hazel-brown eyes, button nose, and pouty lips walked in with ring-bonded documents in her hands. She struggled to keep the heavy weight of papers in her hands from falling and reached out to hand each of the members of the board a copy.
His gaze traveled through her. He couldn’t find the right words to describe her. She was a woman of independence. She wasn’t like other women who wanted to be treated with special treatments. She was someone who wanted even levels and equal treatments between men and women. Nonetheless, despite her prim exterior and long list of principles, she was compassionate. She was always there and ready to give him a hand. She never complained about anything. She was always striving to get the best outcome of whatever she was doing. She was dedicated to her work and loyal to him. She could understand him. He knew that she was the only one who could.
But she was not Hebe.
After she finished distributing the documents, she stood at one corner of the room and gave him a smile of encouragement. It was as if she was trying to tell him that everything would be alright. And unknowingly, his lips curved in a small smile itself.
The meeting ended well, despite the heavy follow-up questions upon questions of the board. They were never easy on him. Still, Chun was glad that he was able to reason out well. His justifications and explanations were accepted. The meeting ended at seven and everyone were dismissed and headed out of the conference room to have dinner at the restaurant of the hotel.
The hotel was owned by the company and there was a private restaurant where the executives were the only ones allowed to occupy. It was located at the highest floor of the building and was designed to give a glimpse of the relaxing night life.
Despite the exquisite cuisine, relaxing view and calming melody brought by the waves of sounds from the piano, Chun didn’t have the appetite to eat. His gaze lingered at the skyline view of Kaohsiung and lost himself in it. Food seemed tasteless since she disappeared two months ago. She didn’t even give him any explanation. Not even a hint except for a lone text message saying she was sorry and wanted an out of their relationship. It drove him crazy. He looked for her everywhere and tried calling her but she already changed her numbers and moved out of her condo unit.
He’d never experienced such a crippling heartbreak. He felt like he was lost in the crossroads. His life had no direction anymore. He needed her. At least, he needed to find her and ask her the reason why she ended their relationship. He wanted to understand her reasons for leaving him. Did he do something? Did he spend more time in the office than with her? Had he failed to tell her and show her how much he loved her? Had she found someone else? Had she ran out of love? Was she forced to leave?
There were tons of questions in his mind and he didn’t know what to make of them. He needed to find her with whatever it takes.
The sound of someone clearing her throat tore his gaze from the window. “Mr. Wu, I know that I don’t have the right to implore anything but… you look really tired and distressed,” he heard her say. He became suddenly aware of the lines of worry on her smooth forehead as she looked at him with concern. “Even if you don’t have the appetite, please… eat. You might get sick,” she said, her pensive gaze remained locked with his.
Instead of feeling annoyed by her remark, he felt warmed. At least there was still someone who cared enough to treat him as a human being. Even he himself failed to see his sudden loss of weight. He smiled wistfully, “It’s okay Ms. Chen. I can manage. If you don’t mind, I will head out now. I… I need some time alone.”
With that, he stood up from his seat, not even giving a sparing look at his untouched food. He caught a sight of his father from the corner of his eyes. He was laughing politely while eating with the other directors. If Ella had noticed his sudden loss of weight and the lack of life in his eyes, why not him? Despising his father’s attitude, Chun swore he’d never do such a horrible thing to his future children, if ever he’d be granted.
He scolded himself for hoping. He should get used to this kind of treatment from him. Somehow, it made him wonder why his father exploded when he failed to introduce Hebe to him. Chun didn’t tell him about Hebe because he thought he was not interested in getting to know the person who caught the heart of his heir. However, Chun knew better than to ask him about his behavior. Harold Wu always had a flare of unpredictable temper and vaguely understandable sense of reasoning. He even wondered what made him the stone of a man that he was now. He was incapable of loving; because of it, he was also incapable of being loved.
The faint rays of light eased their way through the thin slits of the closed curtain. Finally, Chun was able to find peace by being alone in his room. Sprawled carelessly in the carpet, he leaned his back at the edge of his bed and stared blankly at his vague reflection in the glass door that lead to the veranda. There was no one else there to keep him company. However, he was never abandoned by darkness, silence, and liquor. They were his most loyal company especially during moments when human companionship had deserted him. The bittersweet taste travelled through his dried throat and settled in his stomach. It ignited something from within his being and he could feel the ignition creating sparks. Despite the unsettling feeling inside his body, he continued drowning himself with his liquor.
His life had no meaning anymore. He had been deprived of love since he was born. He wanted nothing more than to be loved by the person he loved the most. He could endure anything that he may encounter in his pursuit as long as he had the love of life with him in his every single step.
Now, he felt like his world had no meaning anymore. He had spent the past two months sulking. He couldn’t stop thinking about her, wondering if she was alright, wondering what was happening to her. He couldn’t stop blaming himself for a mistake that may or may not be true. Despite everything that she put him through, he was still willing to wait for her. He was still willing to accept her back.
That was how much he loved her.
He tasted the sour tang of acid in the floor of his tongue. He couldn’t breathe. He loosen his tie and recklessly tugged open a few buttons of his shirt. His vision began to blur and he collapsed – silently giving his consent to be totally encompassed by oblivion.
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